On a wing and a prayer

[the_baking_vampire]

This isn't the first charge he's ever had as a guardian angel, so it's not exactly as if he's new at his job. He's never broken the rules before or failed in his task. He's always followed strictly to the rules and protected his charges with the utmost care and diligence.

He never thought things would be so much different with John Grimm.

As a boy, he'd lost his parents, and Seere had been tasked to him without any real explanation of why. Sometimes, that's how it goes; an assignment without a reason. It's never bothered him. All he knew was that he needed to protect the boy, and by extension, that usually meant protecting his twin sister, as well, inseparable as they were.

For years, Seere watched him grow, a sad, shy, and reserved child who turned into a handsome young man.

It was difficult when John entered the military. Seere can't fix mental anguish. How does one protect against that sort of thing without keeping a soul from gaining the necessary experiences to benefit from having lived? So, he watches as John struggles through bootcamp, watches as he struggles with the deaths of his friends, with the guilt that comes with it. He wants to help, but there's nothing he can do. He can't protect everyone. Only John.

Seere is wary when John gets selected for the RRTS. It's such a dangerous squad. Protecting him becomes a full-time task, flitting in and out of John's vision, exploiting those fractional blind spots that all humans have to subtly change the trajectory of bullets or nudge him away from a falling object or protect him from an explosion.

During these years, he's grown closer to John. He knows he shouldn't get attached, but John is such a sweet, loyal person, Seere can't help but care for him. He's gentle and protects those around him, gives everything he's got to try to keep his friends safe. He's grown into a man that Seere is proud to watch over, even if it's become dangerous to do so. Angels aren't allowed to love.

Still, his job goes well up until John is in his 26th year -- and he suddenly disappears.

Seere tracks his last signature to the point where it disappeared. It's a portal to Mars. Seere knows this, but he can't go. He can't leave the sphere of influence that Angels have on Earth. He can't travel to Mars with him, can't protect him. For once in his eternal life, Seere is afraid he will fail. He's not afraid of the punishment for it, he's afraid for John.

So, he heads back to Heaven to wait, and never have two days seemed so long for someone with as much patience as he has.

As soon as John's familiar tug reappears on Earth, Seere seeks him out.

He finds him at the hospital, beside the bed of his sister, and he immediately looks the both of them over for injuries. John is perfectly healthy, as far as Seere can tell, but Sam seems as if she has been wounded. Not fatally so, thankfully.

He breathes out a sigh of relief. He is so glad to see his charge is safe.

Comments

[the_baking_vampire]

"Angels are not omniscient."

[beautifulanimal]

"Yeah, but what about your boss? What does he have to say?"

He won't use the G word. he refuses to believe in that, even if he's sitting in an angel's lap. Naked.

...

With a blush and a muttered "sorry", he scrambles out of Seere's lap and reaches for the first thing he can find that's big enough to cover up with. Like a pillow. "I didn't realize..."

[the_baking_vampire]

"He has not answered my prayers."

Seere blinks, a little confused when John suddenly startles. "Realize what?" Oh. And then it hits him when John stands up and Seere's greeted with face-level groin.

"It's alright." He's not blushing. Angels don't blush because of nudity. Shh.

[beautifulanimal]

John can almost smell the blush creeping up Seere's cheeks. It only makes him feel even more awkward. He went and embarrassed the divine being. Fucking great.

"I'll be right back," he mutters and backs off into the bedroom to find clothes.

[the_baking_vampire]

...Well, then. At least John doesn't seem quite so depressed anymore?

Though, Seere is still thoroughly mortified that he allowed himself slightly impure thoughts. John really needs to be less attractive, physically and personality-wise.

"Have you eaten? I could make something."

[beautifulanimal]

"I'm not hungry."

He kinda is, but that's not getting registered. It's not important and he can't be sure he'll keep anything down if he tries to eat.

"You don't have to stick around. I'm fine."

He pulls on a pair of sweats and a shirt before coming back out.

"Really."

[the_baking_vampire]

Seere looks up at him, and he just looks sad again. "You're not fine, John. I found you trying to kill yourself with broken glass in the shower."

That's not a scene Seere ever wants to see again.

[beautifulanimal]

"That was just an accident. Really. I'm fine. Don't need a babysitter."

[the_baking_vampire]

"That wasn't an accident. I might not be omniscient, but I'm not blind, either. Why didn't you just call for me?"

He wants John to know that whenever he's feeling that much pain, he can rely on Seere to help make it better. That's what he's here for, that's what he wants to do.

[beautifulanimal]

"It was. I snapped. Won't do that again. I... I promise."

[the_baking_vampire]

"In the future, if you need help, please call for me. I keep an open connection with you, and I can tell when you're in danger, but things like depression are beyond my ability to detect."

[beautifulanimal]

"I'm not depressed. I'll call for you. I don't need you to watch over me 24/7. I just need some sleep."

[the_baking_vampire]

"Do you want help sleeping?" It's a sincere offer. Seere would never mock him for that sort of thing, and it's actually nice being able to hold John all night and watch him sleep. At least keeping him from nightmares is something Seere can do instead of just watching helplessly.

[beautifulanimal]

"No. I just want so peace and quiet. Just need some time alone to fix my head."

[the_baking_vampire]

Seere ducks his head in understanding and then stands up, unfolding his wings. "I'm only ever seconds away if you need me." And then he's gone.

[beautifulanimal]

"I don't need you," John says to the empty air after Seere is gone.

He fiddles around a little after that. Makes himself a sandwich that gets thrown away because he can't even look at it. He tries to read but after flipping through a few books he realizes that he's not in the mood for anything. He cleans up for a few hours, even if he usually doesn't give a shit about that outside of his bunk and that's only because of inspections.

None of it helps.

So he goes to his service bag, pulls out his weapon, and sits down on the couch. He doesn't even hesitate before he puts a bullet through his head.

[the_baking_vampire]

There's a sharp flare of pain before Seere's connection with John goes dead and Seere's heart nearly stops. No. No, it can't be. He rushes to find his charge, flying as fast as he can, and even the 2.8 seconds it takes for him to get there feels too long.

The sight that greets him makes him whimper and he collapses to his knees in front of the couch, tugging John into his arms. "Why didn't you call for me...?"

Seere sobs then, shaking as he clings to John's corpse and tries to heal him, even though he knows it's impossible. John is dead. Seere can't fix that. He's failed the one human who's ever actually mattered to him.

[beautifulanimal]

It only lasts about a minute before John suddenly gasps and opens his eyes.

"Seere."

And he should be ashamed at how disappointed he is to be back.

[the_baking_vampire]

He blinks, rubbing at his eyes to clear the tears out of them so he can actually see. "John?" He's so confused. "It worked...?"

But he's never been able to bring people back from the dead before. He doesn't understand what's going on, but it doesn't matter. John's alive and Seere clings even harder to him, trying to keep from crying even more out of sheer relief. "Please don't ever do that again."

[beautifulanimal]

"What worked?"

He's still confused, still pissed that he's alive, but Seere seems so upset that John can't stop himself from wrapping his arms around him to hold him close.

[the_baking_vampire]

"I tried to heal you." He buries his face in the crook of John's neck, taking deep breaths. It's unseemly for an angel to be as emotional as this, especially over a human. He knows it proves that he's compromised and that he could be replaced, but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters except that John is breathing again.

[beautifulanimal]

"Please tell me it was you and I didn't heal on my own."

He doesn't care much that Seere's clinging. It's not unseemly to him. He clings back and strokes his hair to try to calm him down, or maybe he's trying to calm himself down. It's the same thing right now. At least it feels that way.

[the_baking_vampire]

"I don't know. I can't be sure. You were dead. I don't think anything could heal from a bullet in the brain..."

Seere doesn't even realize he's getting blood all over himself. He's finally calming down enough that his breath has stopped hitching, but he's still shaking a bit. He's never been so scared in his life.

[beautifulanimal]

"We have to try again."

Yes, he's dead serious. He has to know. He HAS to know.

[the_baking_vampire]

"What? No! Absolutely not! I won't-- I can't let you do that. I can't stand to see you like that again. Please don't." It would just break Seere's heart to see John laying in a puddle of his own brain matter again.