On a wing and a prayer

[the_baking_vampire]

This isn't the first charge he's ever had as a guardian angel, so it's not exactly as if he's new at his job. He's never broken the rules before or failed in his task. He's always followed strictly to the rules and protected his charges with the utmost care and diligence.

He never thought things would be so much different with John Grimm.

As a boy, he'd lost his parents, and Seere had been tasked to him without any real explanation of why. Sometimes, that's how it goes; an assignment without a reason. It's never bothered him. All he knew was that he needed to protect the boy, and by extension, that usually meant protecting his twin sister, as well, inseparable as they were.

For years, Seere watched him grow, a sad, shy, and reserved child who turned into a handsome young man.

It was difficult when John entered the military. Seere can't fix mental anguish. How does one protect against that sort of thing without keeping a soul from gaining the necessary experiences to benefit from having lived? So, he watches as John struggles through bootcamp, watches as he struggles with the deaths of his friends, with the guilt that comes with it. He wants to help, but there's nothing he can do. He can't protect everyone. Only John.

Seere is wary when John gets selected for the RRTS. It's such a dangerous squad. Protecting him becomes a full-time task, flitting in and out of John's vision, exploiting those fractional blind spots that all humans have to subtly change the trajectory of bullets or nudge him away from a falling object or protect him from an explosion.

During these years, he's grown closer to John. He knows he shouldn't get attached, but John is such a sweet, loyal person, Seere can't help but care for him. He's gentle and protects those around him, gives everything he's got to try to keep his friends safe. He's grown into a man that Seere is proud to watch over, even if it's become dangerous to do so. Angels aren't allowed to love.

Still, his job goes well up until John is in his 26th year -- and he suddenly disappears.

Seere tracks his last signature to the point where it disappeared. It's a portal to Mars. Seere knows this, but he can't go. He can't leave the sphere of influence that Angels have on Earth. He can't travel to Mars with him, can't protect him. For once in his eternal life, Seere is afraid he will fail. He's not afraid of the punishment for it, he's afraid for John.

So, he heads back to Heaven to wait, and never have two days seemed so long for someone with as much patience as he has.

As soon as John's familiar tug reappears on Earth, Seere seeks him out.

He finds him at the hospital, beside the bed of his sister, and he immediately looks the both of them over for injuries. John is perfectly healthy, as far as Seere can tell, but Sam seems as if she has been wounded. Not fatally so, thankfully.

He breathes out a sigh of relief. He is so glad to see his charge is safe.

Comments

[the_baking_vampire]

"What?" Seere looks around for a rooster, but then it slowly dawns on him what John is talking about. "Oh. ...Oh. I... no. I've never, um-- Angels aren't supposed to have sex."

[beautifulanimal]

And the muffled voice from under the duvet is saying: "You're not supposed to fall for a charge either, but you ripped through that rule. How was I to know you didn't mean- I'm sorry."

[the_baking_vampire]

Seere smiles and comes to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching out to pet that lump under the duvet reassuringly. "It was a misunderstanding on both our parts. There is nothing to apologize for. Though... I'm flattered you would want to do that with me."

[beautifulanimal]

"I thought it was what you wanted..."

[the_baking_vampire]

"Is that the only reason?" He won't be offended if John says yes.

[beautifulanimal]

"Yeah- I mean, I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't want to, but I was just joking around and I thought you were, too, but then I thought you were serious and I really wanted to- I'm sorry. It's so wrong. You're an angel."

[the_baking_vampire]

"You keep saying that as if that somehow puts me above you. It doesn't. I am here to serve you, not the other way around."

[beautifulanimal]

"But you're pure and innocent, and I shouldn't taint that"

[the_baking_vampire]

"I would not view anything done with you as a taint."

[beautifulanimal]

He sits up, finally daring to look at him again (sort of), and reaches for Seere's hand. "I'd do everything I could so it wouldn't feel that way."

[the_baking_vampire]

Seere takes his hand without hesitation and gives it a gentle squeeze. "You've already won me over, John. You just need to be yourself."

[beautifulanimal]

"And I'll never fucking understand why or how. Out of everyone on this planet, you pick me?"

[the_baking_vampire]

"I didn't plan on it. As with many instances of love, it just happened without permission."

[beautifulanimal]

"I get that. What I don't get is how it happened with me. What would someone like you see in crap like me?"

[the_baking_vampire]

Seere wonders how many times he's going to have to tell John his qualities before they finally stick in his head. "You're brave when others are in danger, you're sweet and kind, and you're wonderful with children. You help old ladies across the road and you help people whenever you can. Why wouldn't I love you?"

[beautifulanimal]

John just looks at him like he's crazy. Most people are like that. Doesn't mean he's anything special, and most people aren't killers. Or freaks.

"You fell on your wings as a kid, didn't you?"

He does have a slight smile, though. It feels good to hear that. Feels good to hear that someone loves him and trust that it's genuine. It's his one anchor right now.

[the_baking_vampire]

"I was never a child," he responds seriously, but then he smiles. He seems to have gotten through.

[beautifulanimal]

"No. Really?" He gives him a smile and carefully tugs on his hand. "Will you come back to bed? I promise I won't do anything you don't want me to do."

[the_baking_vampire]

Seere steps forward and climbs onto the bed, automatically pulling John into his arms. "I know you won't."

[beautifulanimal]

He slides up against him almost automatically and hooks a leg around Seere's hip. He'd kiss him, but now he's nervous.

[the_baking_vampire]

Seere wraps right around him, wings and all, holding him close and just enjoying being close to him. He likes basking in the presence of John's soul.

[beautifulanimal]

That soul is never more calm than when they're close like this. Especially now that there's a monster raging inside him. Seere's scent alone is like cool air on a burn. It heals, and it's the main reason that it's so easy for him to open up and let go. If Seere had been human, he would never have dared come this close this fast.

He leans his head on the pillow and just looks at him, taking in all the little features of his face, toys with those soft curls.

"How do you get dressed with those wings?"

It may seem a random thought, but he was thinking about him without clothes and his brain hit a snag. How does he get his shirt on and off?

[the_baking_vampire]

It's such a random question that it takes Seere off-guard and he laughs. "My wings aren't tangible all the time. They're grace. I suppose it's like energy."

[beautifulanimal]

"So no cuts in the back to slot them through?"

He smiles. He likes that laugh. It's soothing, like everything else about Seere.

"What do you mean by grace?"

[the_baking_vampire]

"No. No cuts." He smiles.

"Grace is what makes an angel an angel. It's where our power stems from. I haven't got much of it in comparison with an angel like Michael or Gabriel. Their wings are much more impressive."