On a wing and a prayer

[the_baking_vampire]

This isn't the first charge he's ever had as a guardian angel, so it's not exactly as if he's new at his job. He's never broken the rules before or failed in his task. He's always followed strictly to the rules and protected his charges with the utmost care and diligence.

He never thought things would be so much different with John Grimm.

As a boy, he'd lost his parents, and Seere had been tasked to him without any real explanation of why. Sometimes, that's how it goes; an assignment without a reason. It's never bothered him. All he knew was that he needed to protect the boy, and by extension, that usually meant protecting his twin sister, as well, inseparable as they were.

For years, Seere watched him grow, a sad, shy, and reserved child who turned into a handsome young man.

It was difficult when John entered the military. Seere can't fix mental anguish. How does one protect against that sort of thing without keeping a soul from gaining the necessary experiences to benefit from having lived? So, he watches as John struggles through bootcamp, watches as he struggles with the deaths of his friends, with the guilt that comes with it. He wants to help, but there's nothing he can do. He can't protect everyone. Only John.

Seere is wary when John gets selected for the RRTS. It's such a dangerous squad. Protecting him becomes a full-time task, flitting in and out of John's vision, exploiting those fractional blind spots that all humans have to subtly change the trajectory of bullets or nudge him away from a falling object or protect him from an explosion.

During these years, he's grown closer to John. He knows he shouldn't get attached, but John is such a sweet, loyal person, Seere can't help but care for him. He's gentle and protects those around him, gives everything he's got to try to keep his friends safe. He's grown into a man that Seere is proud to watch over, even if it's become dangerous to do so. Angels aren't allowed to love.

Still, his job goes well up until John is in his 26th year -- and he suddenly disappears.

Seere tracks his last signature to the point where it disappeared. It's a portal to Mars. Seere knows this, but he can't go. He can't leave the sphere of influence that Angels have on Earth. He can't travel to Mars with him, can't protect him. For once in his eternal life, Seere is afraid he will fail. He's not afraid of the punishment for it, he's afraid for John.

So, he heads back to Heaven to wait, and never have two days seemed so long for someone with as much patience as he has.

As soon as John's familiar tug reappears on Earth, Seere seeks him out.

He finds him at the hospital, beside the bed of his sister, and he immediately looks the both of them over for injuries. John is perfectly healthy, as far as Seere can tell, but Sam seems as if she has been wounded. Not fatally so, thankfully.

He breathes out a sigh of relief. He is so glad to see his charge is safe.

Comments

[the_baking_vampire]

He butters the toast and puts some strawberry jam on it before he brings it over to John on a plate, and a simple touch cleans off all the blood. Then, Seere moves away to lean against the wall and make sure he eats.

[beautifulanimal]

And John just stares at his food like it's toxic.

"I can't eat this."

[the_baking_vampire]

"Why not?" It's perfectly edible. The bread is fresh. He should have no complaints.

[beautifulanimal]

"I want meat. As raw as it can get. Bloody."

And maybe that's a key component of why he just... can't deal with eating.

[the_baking_vampire]

"Excuse me?" He can't have heard that right.

[beautifulanimal]

"I'm sorry. I'm having issues with this stuff. There's all these urges I don't know how to deal with."

[the_baking_vampire]

"Alright, then." If that's what it will take...

Seere vanishes, and when he returns, he's got a steak fresh from the butcher's, and he slides the toast off John's plate so he can replace it with that steak instead.

[beautifulanimal]

He stares at the steak for three seconds before he fucking attacks it. Still using a knife and fork, his table manners are too deeply rooted in him for him to forget, but the whole steak is gone in a blink of an eye and he's even licking off the meat juice on his lips.

[the_baking_vampire]

Okay, that is somewhat unexpected. Seere's not quite sure what to make of it, although he supposes that if John has picked up better instincts, like an animal's, then it's possible he's picked up other features, too.

In that light, eating raw meat doesn't seem so strange.

"Would you like more?" Mostly, he's just relieved that John is eating.

[beautifulanimal]

"Yeah..."

He looks so ashamed of himself. His stomach is churning in warning and he really does want to throw it up and forget about it, but after starving himself for so long, the small taste of food has his body demanding more.

[the_baking_vampire]

"Alright." There's no judgement in his tone at all, just calm acceptance. He vanishes once more, and 46 seconds later, he's back with more meat. Four thick, bloody steaks for him, because Seere figures whatever John doesn't eat can get put into the fridge for later.

[beautifulanimal]

Those steaks only last a minute. When he's done, he sits back and stares at the empty plate. He could still eat more. He could eat ten more and still be hungry, at least that's what it feels like, but he's too embarrassed to say that.

"Thanks."

[the_baking_vampire]

"...Do you need more?" Again, no judgement, just a genuine question. He'll bring John a whole cow, if that's what he wants. He just wants John to get better.

[beautifulanimal]

"I already ate enough to feed six people..."

He looks up at him and apologizes again. And now that he's not lost in his own world, he can actually see how Seere looks like crap, and how there's little dropped feathers all over.

"Are you okay?"

[the_baking_vampire]

"I'm fine. I'll go get more." At least, he will be fine, once John's well again.

It takes him a little longer, but he eventually returns with a whole haunch of beef. It's wrapped in paper, and he thinks it might be too heavy for the table, so he's not sure what to do with it.

[beautifulanimal]

John's waiting with his arms crossed.

"You know, you can't pull the 'I'm fine' line on someone like me. I see right through it. I'm constantly there. I know a genuine one from a fake one."

[the_baking_vampire]

"I will be fine, if the clarification helps. I'm molting because I'm exhausted, I'm exhausted because I'm stressed, and I'm stressed because you were hurting yourself." He gestures at the package of meat. "What do you want me to do with this?"

[beautifulanimal]

"I'll deal with that later."

He gets up and comes over to him, a little closer than what he maybe should be.

"Don't be stressed. I'm not hurting myself. Don't worry about me."

[the_baking_vampire]

"You know I can feel it when you injure yourself, don't you?" he asks. Maybe John doesn't realize that's how Seere found him the previous two times...

[beautifulanimal]

"....you can? How? Why?"

[the_baking_vampire]

"We're connected. You are mine to protect. Whenever you're in danger or in pain, I can sense it."

Which means it makes it incredibly difficult for him to rest or do anything when there's been alarm bells going off in his head nearly constantly.

[beautifulanimal]

OH, fuck. Seere might be able to feel how much hearing that hurts John. Messing with himself is one thing, but hurting someone else in the process... He never would have done this if he knew.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He's got tears in his eyes when he moves closer to hug him. "I would never do anything to hurt you. I'm so so sorry."

[the_baking_vampire]

"You're forgiven." Seere hugs him right back, stroking along John's spine to soothe him. He thinks maybe this means John won't hurt himself anymore, and that's a relief in itself.

[beautifulanimal]

He pulls back just a fraction of an inch to look at him.

"You really mean that?"

[the_baking_vampire]

"Of course." Why would an angel lie about forgiveness? Is it not one of the most important things to give freely and honestly?